Day 2: (a little late)

Yesterday was the second day on the road but I was so tired after arriving at the hotel after my workout.

Yesterday we left Indianapolis Indiana at 8:30 in the morning, we stopped two hours later at a rest stop and I had to get a coffee. I may be a little addicted to caffeine. We drove through a sketchy part of Columbus and it was a little scary and we had a few places to choose to eat. We went to the Columbus museum of art, that was beautiful! I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys art. Those are just a few of the pictures I took. I’m keeping myself busy on these long bus rides by reading and listening to music. The book I’m reading is Extraordinary means the link is for Barnes and noble but it’s $6 at target. I’ll post a list of the songs I’m listening to in another post so keep an eye out! 

For dinner last night we ate at eat’n park it was extremely good! We made it to the hotel around 6 so I went and worked out before settling in. Keeping up with syds travels! 

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End of day 1:

So we aren’t to New York quite yet, we are in Indiana right now we are a little farther than Terre Haute because that’s just where we stopped for dinner. We stopped every two hours to use the restroom and we stopped and had lunch in st.louis. We had dinner at bandanas at Terre Haute and then drove an hour to Indianapolis Indiana where we’re staying for the night. I think we stay one more night somewhere else before we get to New York. 

I can say I’ve had some pretty great naps on the way up here though. If anyone is keeping up with my trip let me know. Ask me questions on my AskFM 

On the road again

I’m officially on my way to New York and I’ve been counting down the days for what seems like forever! I’m traveling with The bank of Missouri and Diamond Tours. 

We’re having a lot of fun, if we do something cool like share a story, or tell a joke the assigned banker will give us Monopoly money. Also each day we will pick a sticker for our name tags and they will draw a sticker and they will get a set amount of money. At the end of the trip there will be prizes we can spend our money on. 

I don’t know a lot of people on the bus, apparently I have a cousin I’ve never met on here so that might be cool, other than that I’m with my grandparents. 

I’m hoping for a lot of fun in New York it is my first time, if anyone has any suggestions comment. 

Ask me questions at AskFM 

Blog That…

It has been a while since I posted something, things went down and it wasn’t very fun. I’m not ready to share that experience with anyone else yet though.

All I can say is I am moving on with my life, cutting people out that have hurt me mentally and emotionally. You can’t be happy with that constantly dragging you down and as I’m about to start college and a new chapter of my life I really and afford to have part time people in my life.. you’re either here or you’re not. That’s it, no exceptions. 

I am not particularly happy with how I left things but it’s the way things had to be.. I’m very thankful for the people who have stayed with me through it all, you guys are my life savers❤️ 

Well I am going to try (for the third time) to grow my blog, hopefully I can stick with it this time. Hopefully I will have more followers to build a bond with as well.. and I will be leaving for New York in 6 days so make sure and read about that I’ll keep posting updates about it! 

-love syd 

What’s next.? 

Now that I have 2 weeks left of school I have to start thinking about my future and I have no idea what I want to do. Honestly at this point I think my life is just going to crumble apart after I step across that stage at graduation. I don’t know how to be an adult, I don’t know how to not be petty or jealous or insecure about everything. How can it be in one day I will have people telling me where to go and what to do and then an hour later I’ll be responsible for my own life. (Not literally, I’m not 18 until a month after I graduate but still) 

I don’t know what I want to do with my family situations I don’t know what to do with the relationships I have. I haven’t found a job yet, although I’ve applied to many. Am I failing senior year? Am I failing myself? Am I failing those around me? 

Maybe I’m just going through a slump and I’ll look back on this and realize I’m making a big deal out of nothing… I hope that is the case. Right now I have more on my mind than I can handle. How does one finish high school with decent grades and have a steady relationship, stay in touch with people and not overwhelm themselves. 

I don’t know what I’m doing. 

-Syd

Out of Control…

Most people think they have control over their own lives, right? I don’t and that is kinda my fault.. If anyone has read my other articles (unlikely) then you would know that I am grounded until I graduate… but something important happens before I graduate that I won’t have a say in and it has driven me insane these last few days. Which is why I am writing about it here. So here it goes.

What comes before I graduate that could be so important enough to drive someone (especially girls) insane if they don’t get a say in? PROM! I don’t get to be asked to prom by my boyfriend because my parents don’t like my boyfriend (I haven’t gotten to hang out with him in almost 5 months), he won’t be able to pick me up or go take pictures or go out to dinner. All because I don’t have control anymore, my dad said that he will drop me off at prom because he didn’t want to keep me from going.

He didn’t want to keep me from going but now that I can’t go with Jack I don’t even want to go. The whole point of prom, the reason why it is so fun is because you get asked in cute ways and get to look nice for pictures and go out to eat all dressed up and what not, but I don’t get that. So I might as well not go, because what’s the point in spending $300 on a dress when I’m not going to get to do all the things that go along with prom….

I have lost all interest in going to prom if i’m going to be dropped off. Prom isn’t prom if you can’t do all the other things involved with it.

I don’t think anything has ever made me more mad…

-Syd

A Letter to A Guy that Broke my Heart.

* Side note: I am still with my boyfriend Jackson and we are perfectly happy together. I am writing this as a letter to make myself feel better about what happened, and this was a while back.*

To the guy that broke my heart,

Wow.. was I wrong about you. I adored you. Before summer started I called you and asked you to tell me I was going to be okay. I trusted you with my problems. I wanted you to help me. I needed you… I thought I needed you.

After everything between us ended you blamed me, and Jackson when really you should have turned and looked at what you did too. It wasn’t all my fault. I planned a lot of things that we did and even if you said you would go, sometimes you would bail at last minute. I got so used to you bailing on things that I started asking other people to go with me if you cancelled. Even after you did it to me a few times, I still got upset when it happened, but I pretended I wasn’t. I even sat at your stupid soccer games and sweat my butt off even though I hate soccer, I did it because I cared and you make time for people you care about.

Before I get into how you broke my heart let me give a little information about myself (kinda). There are 5 love languages;

1.)  Words of Affirmation

2.) Acts of Service

3.) Receiving Gifts

4.) Quality Time

5.) Physical Touch

My love language that mostly describes me is quality time… That could be something simple like if you’re going to the store and ask me to go with you I would take that over flowers any day. That is just how I am…

You are terrible at communication, You take several hours in between when you text me, which is okay I understand you have work and have to babysit but a text saying “hey i’m busy i’ll text you later” would have made it okay. I was so mad at you one day, when you didn’t text me at all and you said “hey” and i texted you back “No” and you texted right back apologizing for being terrible to me and not treating my like you should. you said and I quote “I don’t have time for you”

That broke my heart. I had nothing to say back to you. So no I didn’t leave you for Jackson (that was just a perk), I left you for me. Because time is how I feel affection, and you said you had NO TIME. You literally ripped my heart out and crushed it. If you care about someone there is no such thing as ‘No Time’ and do not talk to me about no time. I worked and planned things for camp and hung out with friends and still found time to go to YOUR STUPID SOCCER GAMES AND HANG OUT WITH YOU of course when it was easy for you to hang out. I didn’t leave you for Jackson, I left you for me because you broke my heart.

Just looking at you literally physically hurts me. You blamed me for all of the things that went down but even after all of this it is still my fault?… You even went as far as to threaten to jump jackson. That is crazy for one he is like twice your size and two, It wasn’t his fault. I mean yes he did come back and say he was sorry for everything, but you can even ask hi I said ” There can’t be an us because i’m going to try to work things out with __” and he understood, but then you went and broke my heart.

So thank you for making this all my fault, I love it… I cared about you, I would go as far as to say I adored you… But year it wasn’t completely my fault

Love ( or maybe not) ,

Syd