A Letter to A Guy that Broke my Heart.

* Side note: I am still with my boyfriend Jackson and we are perfectly happy together. I am writing this as a letter to make myself feel better about what happened, and this was a while back.*

To the guy that broke my heart,

Wow.. was I wrong about you. I adored you. Before summer started I called you and asked you to tell me I was going to be okay. I trusted you with my problems. I wanted you to help me. I needed you… I thought I needed you.

After everything between us ended you blamed me, and Jackson when really you should have turned and looked at what you did too. It wasn’t all my fault. I planned a lot of things that we did and even if you said you would go, sometimes you would bail at last minute. I got so used to you bailing on things that I started asking other people to go with me if you cancelled. Even after you did it to me a few times, I still got upset when it happened, but I pretended I wasn’t. I even sat at your stupid soccer games and sweat my butt off even though I hate soccer, I did it because I cared and you make time for people you care about.

Before I get into how you broke my heart let me give a little information about myself (kinda). There are 5 love languages;

1.)  Words of Affirmation

2.) Acts of Service

3.) Receiving Gifts

4.) Quality Time

5.) Physical Touch

My love language that mostly describes me is quality time… That could be something simple like if you’re going to the store and ask me to go with you I would take that over flowers any day. That is just how I am…

You are terrible at communication, You take several hours in between when you text me, which is okay I understand you have work and have to babysit but a text saying “hey i’m busy i’ll text you later” would have made it okay. I was so mad at you one day, when you didn’t text me at all and you said “hey” and i texted you back “No” and you texted right back apologizing for being terrible to me and not treating my like you should. you said and I quote “I don’t have time for you”

That broke my heart. I had nothing to say back to you. So no I didn’t leave you for Jackson (that was just a perk), I left you for me. Because time is how I feel affection, and you said you had NO TIME. You literally ripped my heart out and crushed it. If you care about someone there is no such thing as ‘No Time’ and do not talk to me about no time. I worked and planned things for camp and hung out with friends and still found time to go to YOUR STUPID SOCCER GAMES AND HANG OUT WITH YOU of course when it was easy for you to hang out. I didn’t leave you for Jackson, I left you for me because you broke my heart.

Just looking at you literally physically hurts me. You blamed me for all of the things that went down but even after all of this it is still my fault?… You even went as far as to threaten to jump jackson. That is crazy for one he is like twice your size and two, It wasn’t his fault. I mean yes he did come back and say he was sorry for everything, but you can even ask hi I said ” There can’t be an us because i’m going to try to work things out with __” and he understood, but then you went and broke my heart.

So thank you for making this all my fault, I love it… I cared about you, I would go as far as to say I adored you… But year it wasn’t completely my fault

Love ( or maybe not) ,

Syd

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